Derangement Syndrome

Well, here we are again, naked and unafraid under the Good Lord’s gaze. Let’s talk about Derangement Syndrome, and let’s not waste precious time. I’d like to get down to business before I’m called home to my reward of a mansion in Heaven with 100 curvy bespectacled women and bottomless ammo and whiskey.

Let’s keep it simple; the MAGA movement is Obama Derangement Syndrome. Anything downstream of that is just gold plated, shitty window dressing. And it has been about Obama Derangement since that fateful night in 2011 when the president roasted the current toddler-in-chief and the disease of white dominion found its loudest, most obnoxious carrier. Scarcely a day has passed since 2011 without Donnie Taters mentioning Barack Obama, including the most recent attempted flex that “I’m the only president to take a cognitive test. I don’t think Obama could pass it.”

And part of that statement is true, for once. He is indeed the only president known to have taken this particular cognitive test. Ronald Reagan either skipped them or didn’t publish the results as his brain turned to oatmeal in his second term. The MoCA, or Montreal Cognitive Assessment, is not a widely administered intelligence test. It’s a cognitive screening designed to identify early Alzheimer’s traits. Il Duce Arancione has taken the test several times because his horrifically deformed father died in 1999 from Alzheimer’s disease. At the end, they set up Fred’s office with blank papers for him to sign and a phone that only rang his secretary, you know, for appearances. Appearances are vital to these fucking people.

Regardless of the purpose of the MoCA or whether Obama could pass it, the Toddler couldn’t resist mentioning Obama in his sad little flex. Barack Obama lives rent free in his rotting head, but he’s not alone and he’s not the first to be afflicted with Obama Derangement Syndrome.

In February of 2007 when Barack Obama announced his candidacy for president, the Koch brothers felt a shock of fear run up their spines. As he won primary after primary and ultimately secured the nomination, the Koch oligarchs were ready to fund their godly white opposition to the black guy by any means necessary should he win the general election, which of course he did.

In December 2008 and January of 2009, before Obama was even sworn in as president, Mitch McConnell and John Boehner each held separate secret strategy meetings for the Senate and House. The objective: obstruct Obama. Before there was even a policy, before President Obama had even put pen to paper for the first time, sufferers of Obama Derangement Syndrome were building Congressional opposition.

For those of you who may need a remedial course, Republican John Boehner was Speaker of the House from 2011 to 2015. He was an insufferable, performative twat who regularly cried in interviews for some god damned reason. John was ultimately smashed by the political monster he helped create when the GOP turned on him for ultimately failing to fully stop the black guy. After he was forced to resign, John walked out of the Capitol singing a Disney song. He was a gruesome, pathetic botch of a politician and a person. He should have been drowned in a sack in 2010.

Of Obama’s broader agenda, Boehner said “We're going to do everything, and I mean everything we can do, to kill it, stop it, slow it down, whatever we can.” He wasn’t referring to any specific policy, but any and every move Obama attempted to make. In his 2021 memoir “On the House”, Boehner admitted that his colleagues in Congress didn’t give a damn about spending. They wanted chaos to disrupt Barack Obama. It was personal, it was selfish, and it was precisely deranged.

As for the other half of the Obama Derangement-driven obstruction apparatus, Senator Tortoise requires no refresher. He’s still out there wobbling around Washington like a terminal drunk, his brain skipping beats on a semi-regular basis. Mitch was as instrumental in building the obstruction machine as Boehner. He once said "The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” Not a policy or economic goal, but righteous white opposition to the black guy simply for that sake. And the reptilian son of a bitch ultimately got his way; a Republican Senate majority, three SCOTUS seats, Obama being reduced drastically in his second term, and not one note of it was about policy. It was about the deranged need to obstruct the first black president and prevent as much black political authority as he could.

If Boehner and McConnell represented the institutional arm of Obama Derangement Syndrome, the Tea Party was boots on the ground. Within days of Obama’s inauguration, the Tea Party was born and started marching about with typo-riddled signs and stupid costumes. They didn’t give him the same chance they demanded we give the Toddler, they just reacted emotionally within ten days. In the 2010 midterm elections, somewhere around 130 candidates had significant Tea Party support, all of them Republican. Running on a campaign of fear and regression, the GOP won a net gain of 63 seats that year. And what were people afraid of? Affordable healthcare. Derangement at its finest.

Then, the evening that lives in infamy. The moment everything changed. On April 30th 2011, Barack Obama went to the White House Correspondents Dinner after authorizing a raid on Osama Bin Laden to be carried out the following day. The Toddler posted something asinine on Twitter about the birth certificate that had been released three days prior, and attended the same event. At the dinner, the president roasted the Toddler handily, as he deserved. The following day, as SEAL Team Six launched Operation Neptune Spear to bring Bin Laden to justice, the Toddler seethed.

The longest temper tantrum in history had officially begun.

Obama Derangement Syndrome is based on different facets of the same defect. Racism. They never gave a policy a chance to manifest, rather, it was obstruction for obstruction’s sake. For Boehner, McConnell, and the Tea Party, it was to obstruct black political authority. For the Toddler, it was that but also more deeply personal. A bigoted man with such a fragile ego cannot live with being bested by anyone, especially a black man.

Motivated by his derangement, the Toddler eventually became president and pledged to undo or cancel every executive action carried out by Obama. His pledge was never policy based, but rather a personal act of revenge against a man who dared to not stroke his shriveled, twisted ego. What was good or bad for the country did not and still does not matter. If Obama touched it the Toddler must erase it, because feelings.

The Affordable Care Act, attacked and gutted. DACA, rescinded. The Paris Climate Agreement, withdrawn. The Clean Power Plan, repealed. The Iran Nuclear Deal, withdrawn. Offshore drilling restrictions, reversed. Bears Ears National Monument, slashed. Transgender military service protections, reversed. Justice Department police force investigations, canceled. Cuba policy, reversed. TPP, withdrawn. Methane emissions rules and fuel efficiency standards, reversed. Flood risk rules, reversed. 

Hundreds of Obama-era policies undone in the Toddler’s first term alone. These were not strictly policy decisions, as much as his henchmen attempted to make the claim. It was government funded revenge and ODS afflicted Congressional Republicans have been on board for every moment. They still are.

In his second term, the Toddler has implemented ODS as government policy and can barely go 48 hours without mentioning Obama. He has deployed ICE scum to the bluest cities and states to specifically target communities of color. In that pursuit, at least 34 Americans have been shot by ICE henchmen, and at least 9 of those have died. One of the final goals started bearing fruit at last and on April 29th 2026, the Supreme Court ruled to strike down a Louisiana Congressional map that added a new majority black district. They can’t have someone like the black guy happening again, so ODS brought down the gavel and every other Conservative Confederate state is trying to re-district ahead of the midterms to silence black voters. It took 149 years, but the Confederate Redeemers have finally succeeded.

The Toddler still mentions Obama far too frequently to be coincidental. He posted a racist meme of the Obamas as apes on social media in February 2026. Though Obama has been out of office for a decade, he still lives on in the minds of the Toddler, the Congressional Republicans who couldn’t stop him during his two terms, and the backwards illiterates who still wear those fucking red hats. The horror of a black president informs everything they do, everything they hate, and every fight they join. They’ll destroy the country itself before they even consider the possibility of another non-white president.

Racist obsession with the first black president is the cornerstone of 21st century American conservatism. Whenever someone invokes “derangement syndrome” to counter criticism, remember what they did to try to stop Obama, and remember how much they still seethe over him a decade after his term ended.

And like others before me I too have destroyed the MAGA movement, but it will live on against all odds like the zombies who participate in it.

Fuck you John Boehner. Gracias.